LOVE SONG (by Sheenagh Pugh)

If I were a bank manager
and your debts were mounting,
I’d extend your overdraft
without even counting.

If I were an examiner
and you hadn’t a clue,
I’d give you the answers
and all my love, too.

If I were a shopkeeper
I’d use no lock;
you could lift my spirits,
my heart, and my stock.

If I were a constable
I’d turn a blind eye
to your stash, and smile
as the smoke wafted by.

If I were a magistrate
I’d fine you a kiss;
if I were your doctor
I’d be up for malpractice

but if I were me
and loved you that way,
you’d never guess,
and I’d never say.